Our relationship expert reveals the best questions to ask someone on a first date.
The thumbs rule about first dates is to keep the date interesting, intriguing and fun. Since you are meeting the person for the first time, intimate romance might have to take a back seat for a while. Of course, some healthy flirting is always appreciated from both sides. We would advise you to keep that subtle though. When you are meeting someone through dating sites and apps like Zoosk, it’s better to keep a casual and fun approach to the date to know the person well.
The safest option to start with is ‘What do you do for fun?’ or ‘Tell me about your hobbies or interests’. It is way better to start a date than with the clichéd and vague questions like ‘Tell me something about you’. Seriously, this is not a job interview! Talking about interests and hobbies at first will give you plenty of things to talk about. Especially when you are seeing someone from the dating apps such as Match, Elites Singles or Zoosk, they usually place an algorithm where you are matched with people having similar interests and hobbies.
Talking about the places you have travelled so far or where you aspire to travel sets up a mood where you can talk much about the topic. You never know where the conversation will take you. Travel anecdotes are the most amazing to listen to. However, if you find that your date is not into travelling, maybe you could shift to generic topics such as some of the must travel or adventure destinations that everyone should visit. Talking about travelling is a subtle way to find out if your date is a spontaneous/fun person or not.
Moving on to the date, the conversation is going smooth and you both are enjoying each other’s company. And then the food arrives – the much-awaited moment. Being on the context literally, you can pop up the question of favourite places to eat. This possesses a subtle hint that you are looking for potential restaurants for your second date, plus it saves you the trouble of guessing. You know the saying, “The only way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, well it goes both ways! You can also find out her favourite cuisine, and plan a home-cooked meal date. It’s a fun date where you guys can participate together in an activity and test your chemistry with each other.
If the conversation is not going too smooth, you can always ask about their work and what do they do for a living. Is it their dream job or do they aspire to move onto something else in their future? This does not have to be a lengthy conversation topic. If you find that your date is not that passionate about their work, you shouldn’t push it that much.
Your friends define you and give one an overall idea about the kind of person you are. Ask about your date’s friends and where they like to hang out most of the time. This is more of a personal question and its better when you feel that the date is going really well. The length of this conversation may vary depending on where the conversation is headed towards. But yes, you can lengthen this conversation if you want the date to continue for longer.
We have saved the best for the last! As of now, you would have realized that if you plan on going on a second date with that person or not. Do an exciting session of the famous 21 question game. This game of random, funny or dirty questions is said to get you to fall in love with the person after all 21 questions are asked. The claim isn’t true but you get to know a lot about the person you are dating.
Make sure that there is enough engagement in the conversation from both sides. Do not end up just asking questions to your date and not talking about yourself at all. Give time to your date to ask you their side of the questions or topics as well. You need to be a good listener and also contribute to the conversation. Otherwise, you might bore your date with a one-sided conversation.
The most important part about first dates is to be yourself. We know you want set your best foot forward, but we would highly encourage you to avoid lying about something just to impress your date.