Online Dating: What not to do when you’re looking for love

Don’t lie or over-embellish

This goes for both your profile and your interactions with the people you meet on these dating sites. While we all “fudge” the truth, embellish, or present ourselves in the most flattering light possible, straight-up lying is not okay. First of all, it’s dishonest and a terrible way to start a relationship. Secondly, this other person will find out eventually, so why risk the dissolution of the relationship because of your dishonesty?

Don’t be impatient

There’s going to be a lot of waiting and a lot of searching involved on dating sites like Zoosk, Match, Elite Singles, Eharmony, or Our Time, so you have to be patient. You will not meet your mate immediately; just like with regular dating, you will sort through a lot of duds before meeting your soul mate, so you’ve got to be patient. The right one will come along.

Don’t be impolite or crude

This is a problem a lot of people have on dating sites, where they think that being “bold” and starting a conversation with a sexual innuendo or an otherwise inappropriate comment will impress the recipient. This is common on all dating apps, including gay dating apps and websites. However, while that may attract someone’s attention, that attention won’t necessarily be positive, so you might not get a favorable response.

Don’t send impersonal messages

Crafting that first message to start a conversation is an art form, one that is unfortunately lost on many people. Oftentimes, this is your only chance to strike an interest in the person you are messaging, so you have to make it memorable. Where a lot of people go wrong is that they send boring, impersonal messages.

“Hi!”, while polite, doesn’t say much to the other person. People receive dozens of messages like that every day, so you have to give more than that. It’s always a good idea to carefully read someone’s profile and include some of the things you have in common in that first message. That way, you show that you’ve taken an interest in them.

Don’t try to progress the relationship too quickly

The other common mistake people make is that they try to take the relationship to the next level much too quickly. It’s ok to get excited, but in mature dating especially, people are reluctant to immediately send pictures, meet up in real life, etc. The same goes for making the relationship serious too soon. Allow the other person to make up their own mind and decide what they want from this relationship and how they want it to progress.

Don’t be vague

The major downside of online dating sites is that taking to people through text can be really difficult. You don’t get to see the other person in real time to be able to judge their reactions and body language. In addition, tone is notoriously difficult to infer online, so there is way too much room for interpretation with any written communication. Whenever you write a message, you must be as clear as possible and communicate your intentions openly. That may make coy flirting a little less sexy, but it’s also less frustrating to decipher.

Don’t jump to conclusions

Speaking of miscommunication, the same goes for you the other way around: do not interpret messages and jump to conclusions based on your own assumptions or desires. Talking to someone on dating sites is hard work, and no one really wants to constantly check with the other person about what they wrote and what they mean.

Summary

As you can see, finding romance and true love on dating sites isn’t exactly easy, but it’s a little bit simpler if you know what behavior to steer clear from.